It’s my pleasure to announce the addition of our first dating coach to our Coaching Links page! And it’s a doozy – Dating and Relationship Expert, Frank Kermit. He has over 15 years experience helping singles and couples with every love life issue you can think of (and many you haven’t thought of). He’s been a media presence in his home town of Montreal, Canada for years, but boasts an international cliental throughout North America, Europe, Asia, Australia, and the Middle East. He has authored over 20 books on dating and relationships, and has over 25 individual audio programs. Remember my page on what to do on a first date? Well he’s literally written the book on what to do on a first date. Head over to our coaching page and check him out!
Hey just wanted another addition to our list of recommended reading. Read this one over the holidays – Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari and Eric Klinenberg. It discusses a lot of the subject matter from my site, and provides some new insights. I certainly learned a few things
As requested by reader Frank from Montreal, a quick non-alphabetical glossary of the pickup terms used on this website.
Note: I’m aware there’s a lot more PUA terms out there, but I’m limiting it to whatever I’ve used on this website. Let me know if I’ve missed anything
PUA – a modern day pickup artist. My definition of this is a guy who approaches and flirts with a girl(s) in a situation, where they would otherwise have never met (a cold approach).
Approach – All physical motions required to initiate a conversation with someone. Could include walking towards someone, to simply making eye contact. Some people might include initial conversation starter in this as well, but I classify that under the term “open”. Eg. A PUA approaches and opens a girl.
Open – After an approach is made, the first thing you say to someone to initiate a conversation.
Cold Approach – approaching someone you don’t know, in a situation where if you hadn’t taken the initiative to approach them and open, you would have never met.
Approach anxiety – a guy’s fear of approaching and opening someone, usually an attractive girl(s). The fear is related to looking foolish, being humiliated, or being rejected. It can act as a mental block, preventing a PUA’s progress if it’s not overcome.
AFC – average frustrated chump. A somewhat derogatory term used by PUA’s to refer to non-PUA men who are left frustrated by their lack of success with women.
Banter line – a comment to open someone (initiate conversation), or to throw into a conversation to elicit interest from the other party.
Inner game – Term for developing the correct mindset required to progress as a PUA. Generally refers to overcoming negative, defeatist thoughts, and developing confidence, and an abundance mentality. Basically think positive and overcome negativity.
IOI – Indicator of interest. Refers to unconscious actions that women make when they become attracted to a man.
Kino – Nonsexual physical contact initiated to develop rapport with someone and make them comfortable.
Mystery Method – PUA techniques and theory developed by the PUA self styled as Mystery.
Neg – A comment or action meant to lower a women’s self-esteem, while actively displaying a lack of interest.
Oneitis – When a man falls in love with a girl who is strictly a plutonic friend.
Set – The girl(s) around him that a PUA can potentially approach and talk to.
Sarge – An allocated period of time to go out and approach sets. Either by oneself or with a wing.
Wings – Fellow PUA’s to sarge with.
I’m moving this little blurb from my now defunct links page.
Reading for further reference:
The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. Pay particular attention to the section on the anti-seducer traits. These are personality traits found in people that turn other people off. Do you recognize any of these traits in yourself, or someone you know? Have a trusted friend read this section, and then ask them if they recognize any of these personalities in you.
The Game by Neil Strauss. I’ve mentioned this a few times. It’s more of an entertaining read then reference material, but if you are completely new to the idea of pickup then it’s a good introduction.
Hey everyone, this is my first blog post! Unlike the tutorial pages, which will remain relatively unchanged, I plan on making regular updates here. Mostly it’ll be answering any questions you guys ask on my contact me (once it’s finally setup) page, or in any of the comments. Or just into further detail about any topic you guys want to know more about.