Hey just wanted another addition to our list of recommended reading. Read this one over the holidays – Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari and Eric Klinenberg. It discusses a lot of the subject matter from my site, and provides some new insights. I certainly learned a few things
As requested by reader Frank from Montreal, a quick non-alphabetical glossary of the pickup terms used on this website.
Note: I’m aware there’s a lot more PUA terms out there, but I’m limiting it to whatever I’ve used on this website. Let me know if I’ve missed anything
PUA – a modern day pickup artist. My definition of this is a guy who approaches and flirts with a girl(s) in a situation, where they would otherwise have never met (a cold approach).
Approach – All physical motions required to initiate a conversation with someone. Could include walking towards someone, to simply making eye contact. Some people might include initial conversation starter in this as well, but I classify that under the term “open”. Eg. A PUA approaches and opens a girl.
Open – After an approach is made, the first thing you say to someone to initiate a conversation.
Cold Approach – approaching someone you don’t know, in a situation where if you hadn’t taken the initiative to approach them and open, you would have never met.
Approach anxiety – a guy’s fear of approaching and opening someone, usually an attractive girl(s). The fear is related to looking foolish, being humiliated, or being rejected. It can act as a mental block, preventing a PUA’s progress if it’s not overcome.
AFC – average frustrated chump. A somewhat derogatory term used by PUA’s to refer to non-PUA men who are left frustrated by their lack of success with women.
Banter line – a comment to open someone (initiate conversation), or to throw into a conversation to elicit interest from the other party.
Inner game – Term for developing the correct mindset required to progress as a PUA. Generally refers to overcoming negative, defeatist thoughts, and developing confidence, and an abundance mentality. Basically think positive and overcome negativity.
IOI – Indicator of interest. Refers to unconscious actions that women make when they become attracted to a man.
Kino – Nonsexual physical contact initiated to develop rapport with someone and make them comfortable.
Mystery Method – PUA techniques and theory developed by the PUA self styled as Mystery.
Neg – A comment or action meant to lower a women’s self-esteem, while actively displaying a lack of interest.
Oneitis – When a man falls in love with a girl who is strictly a plutonic friend.
Set – The girl(s) around him that a PUA can potentially approach and talk to.
Sarge – An allocated period of time to go out and approach sets. Either by oneself or with a wing.
Wings – Fellow PUA’s to sarge with.
The above question was asked by a reader named Randy.
Yes, but not as well as among heterosexual men and women. Keep in mind that gay men look upon other men, the same way straight men look upon women – which is very different from the way women look at men. As such I would recommend focussing on the visual impact you make: your physique, grooming, style, etc. Straight men are not necessarily attracted to a woman who is the social centre of the room, louder than everyone else, and I would assume the same holds true for gay men. Still having good social skills will always be beneficial – being good at conversation, eye contact, being charming, and really understanding what someone is thinking, or feeling. I recommend focussing on the kinds of men you find attractive, assuming you have a type. Are you attracted to a particular look, or sub-culture? What kind of men are your potential targets with? Do you prefer to have men approach you, or do you like to be the aggressor? The answers to these questions will determine the best route for you. I recommend reading a book I wrote about in an earlier post called the Art of Seduction, by Robert Greene, for a better understanding of the kinds of things to keep in mind.
I’m moving this little blurb from my now defunct links page.
Reading for further reference:
The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. Pay particular attention to the section on the anti-seducer traits. These are personality traits found in people that turn other people off. Do you recognize any of these traits in yourself, or someone you know? Have a trusted friend read this section, and then ask them if they recognize any of these personalities in you.
The Game by Neil Strauss. I’ve mentioned this a few times. It’s more of an entertaining read then reference material, but if you are completely new to the idea of pickup then it’s a good introduction.
Hey everyone, this is my first blog post! Unlike the tutorial pages, which will remain relatively unchanged, I plan on making regular updates here. Mostly it’ll be answering any questions you guys ask on my contact me (once it’s finally setup) page, or in any of the comments. Or just into further detail about any topic you guys want to know more about.