Lets review some ideas from the previous page – abundance mentality. With online dating, no matter how good your profile is, you are being compared to every other guy on there, i.e. the competition. And the way everyone is ranked is skewed heavily towards looks. That’s why I never fantasized about any particular girl, but about getting rid of all the guys. This would inevitably lead all the women to my profile, and then I could pick and choose (actually what would really happen is the website would lose 99% of it’s female members lol). Unfortunately for me, and the majority of guys, reality models this behaviour, but in reverse. It’s the girls that get to pick from a large pool of guys, the more attractive she is, the larger the pool. I used the analogy that for a woman it was like walking down the street, surrounded by a crowd of admirers. If someone is constantly being given flattery and attention, they become accustomed to it, and don’t give the other person, or persons much respect.
The funny thing is, when was the last time you saw an attractive woman walking down the street, being surrounded by men? It doesn’t really happen. If you can cut out the crowd of men from online dating by actually approaching a woman on the street, haven’t your odds of success improved dramatically? In real life men will check her out but rarely have the guts to say anything. Or start to say something, but hesitate and lose their nerve. Or yell something like “hey baby, nice ass!” or catcall her. This last approach doesn’t work, and will usually leave her feeling embarrassed and humiliated, not interested in you. Even at bars and clubs, many guys feel the only way to win over a girl is to drop a lot of money on her. And yes that will get her attention, but the foundation of this relationship is now based on you giving her money. This is not the kind of long term romantic relationship that most men (or women) want. She will never really respect you when she sees you as a human atm.
What if it were possible to approach that girl in the street or bar, and with a combination of charm, body language, presence, humour, and emotional intelligence…win her over? As I mentioned in the previous page, this is what I did as a pickup artist. You’ll still get rejected a lot. There are many ways for an encounter to go wrong, and only really one path in a particular moment for things to go right. I still get nervous before approaching a girl, but in truth I’ve never made an approach I regretted, I’ve only regretted the ones that I chickened out of. Because in that case I didn’t even give a girl a chance to decide whether she liked me or not, as I had rejected myself. As I mentioned in the abundance page, I took every encounter as a learning experience. I used my mistakes to grow. When I left a girl I would think about what went wrong. Was I too hesitant or delay too long before approaching, which she noticed and subconsciously took as a sign of weakness? Was I not fun enough? Was she just in a rush to be somewhere, and didn’t have time for my banter? You usually knew within the first 30 seconds to a minute whether it was a miss or potentially a hit. Whether to move on, or plough for longer. Gradually I got better, and it showed in my results, which was really cool. Remember those necessary skills I mentioned in the What to do on a first date page? Having fun, being present, conversational skills, and making a connection with someone. It’s all related. Working to become a better PUA made me practice and develop those skills.
There was a time not too long ago, when online dating didn’t exist. People had to rely mostly on their social (not online) networks such as their friends, colleagues, classmates, and extra-curricular clubs to meet new people. I’m willing to bet there were also a lot more guys chatting up girls in coffee shops, stores, and parks. Nowadays it’s not unusual to walk into a bar and see everyone swiping on their phones instead of talking to the person next to them. Why bother with the possibility of rejection when you can just have stress free swiping? A negative consequence of this I believe, is a general retardation of people’s social skills. Particularly men, who traditionally had to court women. I would recommend at least combining pickup with online dating for any single man.
By the way, I don’t want to give the impression that I’m trying to tear down online dating. I wouldn’t have focussed the first ten pages of this website to it if that was the case. Because so many singles use it, you can potentially meet any other person looking for love out there in the world. And of course you can be as specific as you like when it comes to seeking a mate, be it looks, hobbies, or cultural preferences. Depending on how specific you are in your requirements, it might be almost impossible to hope to meet that person without the internet. Online dating remains a useful tool for meeting potential romantic matches. I merely want you to view it with a clear lens.
I wrote the next page Criticisms of PUA’s – An In Depth Analysis because simply telling guys pickup is great! Overcome your fears and talk to girls, learn to be more attractive, and develop your social skills, wasn’t enough. There’s been enough negative stuff written about Game, and PUA’s, that it’ll crush any interest fostered by someone who just read this article. As the title of the page says, it’s a deep dive into the criticisms raised against pickup artists over the years. I basically give my take on everything, and what I feel is fair criticism, and what isn’t.