Writing An Effective Non-Swipe Based Profile Description

Remember the main purpose of the profile pics is to grab someone’s attention.  If she’s taken 7-10 seconds to peruse your pics, then she’s already attracted to you at the thin superficial level that online dating provides.  If you haven’t already read it, I recommend reviewing the previous section on getting a great profile picture.  Generally the hotter someone is the less effort they’ll put into writing their bio, since we follow the path of least resistance.  My very first attempt at a profile description many years ago was a short paragraph describing myself, devoid of any charm or humour.  In a bid to improve my results, I set my pof profile to invisible mode, and I looked at other guy’s profiles.  My friend’s and I would even take turns critiquing each other’s profiles.  I remember seeing the profiles of really good looking model type guys, who had written even less than me, maybe like two sentences.  Eventually I realized that a girl who received fifty messages a day, would still creep such a profile, and write a “hello! how are you?” type message.  There were much creepier profiles than mine, where the pics were all bathroom mirror or bedroom selfies.  But every once in a while I’d see a really cool profile, where the pics were fun and showed personality, and the bio was equally good – funny and charming.  I tried to take inspiration where I could.

A good profile bio should pack as much fun and personality as possible, while telling cool things about yourself, into as small a space as possible.  No word should be wasted.  Don’t write a novel.  No matter how funny you think you are, it’ll start to get boring.  And get it reviewed by other people, particularly girls.  You’re writing stuff that’s setting off girl’s creep-o-meters without even realizing it.

I’ve pasted my last okCupid profile below.  I used the same version for pof, but a much different version for any swipe type phone apps like Tinder.  It’s written so that it makes best use of answering the profile format questions that okCupid makes people do in order to make their profiles better.  It’s from when I used to live near Los Angeles. It was edited quite a few times, and run by a few friends.  No doubt there are better bios, due to someone being more creative/funny or just plain more interesting than me. But this is me, and everything I wrote had a purpose behind it.  The pasted text is italicized and my comments follow right after.

My self-summary

I’ve lived in three different cities in the last 5 years, but have called LA home for the last 2 and a bit. I’ve grown to appreciate the weather, the ocean, and the friendly, laid-back people.

By the way I’m Canadian…eh!? And no I don’t know Wayne Gretzky or Celine Dion but I’m sure both of them and Bryan Adams all live in California by now.

I like a women with a sense of humour who can laugh easily, and has a smile that reaches her eyes. Independent of spirit and thought. Preferably passionate about something, but can be laid-back too.

So I’m introducing myself in the first two paragraphs. I want to reveal some basic info about myself and my background, while doing it in a humorous way.  I lifted the idea of describing my ideal women from someone else’s profile, although the words are my own.  It’s a positive description that could fit anyone, and the idea was to have her imagine herself as this person.

What I’m doing with my life

Living by the beach and loving it…I surf…not well lol, but I love it.

Lazy beach days are great, and bar hopping in hermosa can be fun, but it get’s a little old after a while. Need to break out of my south bay bubble and explore more of LA again…

On a more serious note I’m working on a startup idea that’ll (hopefully) enable me to quit my white collar career, and let me embark on a new one as a world traveller

Here again I’m describing myself, but now more of my present circumstances.  Again I keep it fun, and I hint at my future aspirations, from what I could be doing next weekend, to my long term life goals.  I’m also making sure I keep things short and brief.  First to leave a little mystery and not give away everything about myself, and second because nobody really want’s to read a freaking novel here.  It’s much better to discover more about each other as we get to know each other.  Reading an online profile is just the first step.

I’m really good at

making the most of any situation, inadvertently pulling weird faces in pictures, having fun dates

Just random silliness.

The first things people usually notice about me

I’m gonna go with my sarcastic wit…

I felt that describing a physical feature would come across as self conscious and perhaps conceited.  I went for humour.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

it’s pretty broad, and I’d rather talk about this stuff on a date.

I will say that although I probably watch more netflix now, the best book I’ve read remains War and Peace. I’m also a fan of Game of Thrones (the books not the show).

Not really a music nerd like some of my friends, but aside from the usual top 40 stuff, I gotta show love to some of my fellow Canucks – K’naan, Sloan, BNL, Gordon Lightfoot, The Guess Who, Blue Rodeo…rock n’ roll, soul, and some old school hip hop.

Also I love food, and thank goodness I have no (known) food allergies.

There’s a danger of all this being too long, but I thought meh, at least give something away.  All of it is true (what if she quizzed me on War and Peace? lol), and it kind of gives a taste of my own unique flavour.  We don’t have to have all these interests in common.  These are all just reasons to think I’m cool, because at this point if she’s read this far, she’s at least a little interested.

The six things I could never do without

coffee, the internet, skype (yes a subset of the internet), intermittent yoga, my passport, my car

I probably could have written something cleverer than this…

I spend a lot of time thinking about

surfing, food (I’m a decent cook), ideas that’ll get me rich, three day weekend trips to somewhere, things I’d rather do instead of being at work…

All very true, my random thoughts.  And all things that people can relate to, or like.

On a typical Friday night I am

Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?

The above statement is a default filler from OkCupid.  I actually left this one blank.  Leave it to the imagination, it’s always better than reality.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

Flo, the progressive girl kinda scares me

she’s a scary bitch.

You should message me if

you wanna…

go to the beach

take a bike ride down the strand

get brunch

go to the Getty, cause i still haven’t

go to a galaxy/dodgers/Kings/clippers game

rob celebrities homes

or maybe just get a coffee and do all of the above.

As of right now I’m just looking to date and meet some cool people, not saying it couldn’t develop into something more serious later. If you’re too shy to meet in person, please save us both time and don’t message me.

Let’s have some fun and see if we click.

So what I’m doing here is giving her a taste of what a potential date with me would be like.  It’s fun, varied, active, random, partially made up, but they never really know do they? In all likelihood we’ll probably just do the last one, but I guess they’re all options.  The last paragraph is a filter.  I’m basically coming straight, and saying what I want.  It’s fairly open, and follows the path most people like to follow when starting to date someone, but will hopefully keep out any crazies.  The next page discusses writing an effective tinder profile. Remember less is more!

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