Attraction Online – Online Dating Vs Real Life


Online dating guide and tutorial for men by a pickup artist. PUA. Attraction: online versus real life


One thing I’ve learned from pickup, is that in a face to face first time encounter, be it cold approach or a social circle setting, a man’s attractiveness will be determined by a woman based on a combination of his physical appearance and something more intangible – you can call it his charm, women like to use the words personality, and sense of humour… pickup artists call it game.  And in a nutshell, this is why the best looking guy doesn’t always get the girl.

Unfortunately in online game, the vast scope of possibilities available in a face to face meeting, gets narrowed down to the window that your online profile provides.  And because of this, the ratio of physical appearance to game which determines a man’s attractiveness, is heavily skewed towards physical appearance, or how well it’s portrayed in your pictures.  Girls are used to being judged more heavily on their looks as opposed to their personalities, and in general put more effort into getting the best possible pics.  Guys should do this more.

Some of us have better genetic luck than others, but getting yourself in good physical shape will take you a long way.  I’m not saying you need a six pack, but if you had one and displayed it in at least one picture, your matches would improve dramatically.  Something else to note is that according to Science magazine, one of the main physical traits women find attractive in men is height.  If you are using a site like Tinder that doesn’t have a field in your profile to list height, and you are over 6 ft, I recommend putting this somewhere in your profile description.  If you are below average height, remember it’s ok to add an inch or two as nearly everyone does it according to okCupid, but no more than that.  An obvious lie about your height will be held against you if you ever meet.  Going back to Tinder, if she cares about height, and most girls do to a certain point, she’ll bring it up.  If it’s a deal breaker you’ll know right then and there.  Age is also a big factor in online dating according to the same article in Science.  So if you’re a 40 year old man hoping to date girls in their 20’s, you’re unlikely to find online dating helpful.

Regarding the non-physical appearance part of attraction, remember that not unlike a resume, your profile is meant as an advertisement that highlight’s your best features.  However while the underlying theme of a resume is competency and reliability, for an online profile it should be fun and personality.  And everyone has a fun side to them, the side that your friends and family see, when you are enjoying yourself, or doing something you love.  In fact as an exercise take any five positive adjectives that can be used to describe a man – preferably you, and build your profile around those words.  Eg. fun, cool, warm, caring, interesting, well travelled, etc. Better looking guys can get away with something like trying to look mysterious, but to play it safe, I recommend fun.  And this should come as a no-brainer, but be honest about yourself.  For example if you have never left your home country then don’t present yourself as internationally travelled, or lie about places you’ve been. However if you really want to do more travelling in your future then write about it, and where you’d like to go.

In the next page I’m going to talk about profile pictures. This is the most important part of your profile, and in my opinion is about 80-90% of the deciding factor for whether a girl will reply to a message, or even send you an opening message.  Mind you the remaining 10% of the verbal description can still kill it for you if it’s not good enough.  Read on to find out how to get the best main profile pictures .



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